Hiding the bad stuff...

Public displays of health vs. Gluttony

Soooo…. If you had to post on facebook or show people pictures of what you ate each day would it change the way you eat? For me it surely would. And, for somebody struggling with an eating disorder for whom it’s hard to eat in front of people for fear of being judged, some may lead more towards bulimia than anorexia within the spectrum.

I started thinking about all of this because of my post on facebook yesterday of my tasty lunch.

I shared the photo of my tasty and also very healthy lunch. However I didn’ feel like sharing about the 3 mini reeces peanut butte eggs, whoper eggs, or mini kit kat of leftover Easter candy that I ate in the afternoon. Why is that?! It’s probably because I’m embarrassed by such a show of gluttony! It’s not that I believe in deprivation or that I think I shouldn’t be allowed to have any chocolate. It’s because what I was eating didn’t fit along with my schema of health or of balance. It’s not that I “shouldn’t be allowed” to have any candy; rather, it’s that the candy I was eating was too much and too unhealthy for me, especially considering my current goals of getting back into shape post-baby.

Blogging

I’ve been feeling like it’s time to start journaling or blogging much more consistently and I think I need to just start! There’s never going to be a perfect time and there’s always going to be something that I can (and even should?!) be doing instead of taking the time to express what’s within. However, I believe passionately in the therapeutic benefits of self-reflection so I’m going to be intentional about blogging.

Growing Love...

Before I got married I remember a few people telling me that my love for my husband would continue to grow. I thought that was kind of a silly thing for people to say because obviously I knew that I was in love with this man and that is why I was going to marry him. I couldn't imagine the concept of loving him more than I already did...... but, you know what?! All of those people were right!

The love that I have for my husband is far greater and deeper than it was when we first said, "I do...." 4 years ago. And, for those of you who think I might be living with my head in the clouds, I need to tell you why I will say our love has grown passionately deeper.

I thought we knew each other pretty well when we got married. We could talk openly for long periods of time about our hopes, dreams, and fears. But, as well as we knew each other when we first got married, I know that we know each other so much more today. And, I hope and pray that as the Lord gives us more years together that we’ll continue to develop a stronger and deeper love for each other.

Our love has grown in ways that I can’t even describe. But, I’ll still attempt to highlight a few of the ways our love has grown:

-We’re “on the same team.” Even if the world would attempt to get us to play against each other, we’ve decided that we need to keep our focus on Christ and on our love and commitment to each other. When the world would attempt to dis-unify and pull us apart, we need to all the more clearly live out our lives, “on the same team.”

-We’ve shared tears of joy but we’ve also shared tears of pain together. We’ve walked together through the loss of my husband’s grandpa – a man who was a great example to my husband and an inspiration to him and a precious man who also welcomed me into the family.

-We’ve had the highest highs but we’ve also had lows. My husband has been so gentle and gracious with me the many times I’ve allowed my temper to get the better of me. Just because I’m a super passionate person and I have red hair is no excuse for my crabbiness and all-too-often short fuse, and yet, my husband has graciously loved me through those times. Those times that I’d have preferred to leave the room to get away from me, he’s stayed and he still LOVES me during those messy times! I have so much to learn from his stability, even keel personality, and unconditional love.

-We’ve encouraged each other in our respective educational pursuits but we’ve also taken grad theology course together “just for fun…”

-I just feel “right” when I’m snuggling in my husband’s arms… Even when I see flaws in myself or am reminded of how much I want/need to get back in shape to my pre-pregnancy self, my husband affirms me and tells me I’m beautiful. I’m trying to believe him but at the same time I’m also trying to be healthy in body, mind, and spirit so that I’m healthy and well for our future together…

-When I look at our son, I’m blown away by how much love I have for our child and also for how much that deepens my love for my husband.

Here’s to another 75 years of marriage together! I love you, darling!!

Identity Swap

Why Identity Swap?

The title for me is multi-faceted…

The most significant identifier for me is as a child of God. As a Christian, it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. The old has gone and the new continues to come.

Another element of my identity swap came in 2007 and is the fact that I’m longer single… I’m identified as a woman who has a husband – and, he has me as his wife.

And, 2010 brought an entirely new identity as well. Now, I’m a momma as well.

Thanks for joining me in this journey as I reflect upon all of these identities as well as others as I navigate the waters of life as a child of the King, a wife, a mother, a grad student, a daughter and sister, a friend, a counselor, a writer, a minister, and more.